Tonight I wanna talk about something that keeps me busy for 20 years. It started after I died when I was 12. First it only happened when I was dreaming in sleep. I dreamed of an place I’ve never been before. I walked down the streets, saw the street names, the colours of the building. Soon there came voices in my dreams. I passed by strangers who were talking in a foreign language, but somehow I understood them.
One dream was very clear. I was sitting on the ground, on a carpet in front of a carmine. Behind me was a table with a bench that went around the corner. Young people were sitting on them, talking in this language I actually didn’t know. It were two guys and two girls. One guy had chin-long dark hair, one woman was blonde. The others I don’t remmeber well. The dark haired guy came over to me, asked me something and I replied in this foreign language. Then I woke up.
I can’t tell the gender I had in the dream, nor where I was at. Just from the language I could tell, it was Finland.
I have thought much about this, because those dreams happened for a very long time. They felt like memories. Which is impossible because I didn’t know those people nor the language.
When I researched more about Helsinki, I once came over photo that made me feel recognition. I knew this street and the houses shown on the photo! I had seen them in my dreams.
It gave me a very odd feeling when I travelled to Helsinki. Just when I had left the airport, a feeling of “You’ve been here before.” flooded me. I walked through the streets and found the street from my dream. I stood there a while, staring at the houses that made me feel like I should know them. But nothing happened.
Also this language. Every time I hear finnish, it gives me the feeling “You should be able to understand. You know this language.”
Honestly, it often gives me a feeling like I got amnesia and forgot who I am. Forgot things about me I actually should know about.
Learning the language now, gets frustrating. I recognize words and have the feeling, it should make sense. I just have to concentrate enough and I will understand. Again.
I don’t know about you, and you can call me crazy now, but I do believe in earlier lives. That we don’t live only once. And I have the strong feeling that in one of my earlier lives, I was a Finn.
Next time, I go to Helsinki, I will explore a bit more. Go to Suomenlinna and other places I wanted to visit but haven’t made it yet. Let’s see if it gives me a memory feeling again.