Personal Hell (poetry)

Personal Hell

I hate the noise,
I hate the lights,
but music is
what led me here.
I’m longing for to see you
just one more time.

I go through
my personal hell
through the pain and endless darkness
for you.

I’ll go through
this personal hell
to feel the fire in my heart
for you.

I feel so restless, so fucking scared
but your music makes me
smile again,
and I’m in heaven.

And, I go through
my personal hell
– through the pain and endless darkness
for you, I’ll go through
this personal hell
to feel the fire in my heart
for you.

Dedicated to The 69 Eyes.

Wrong Planet Syndrom (Poetry)

Wrong Planet Syndrom

Sometimes I think
people misunderstand me
on purpose,
so they just have something
to complain about.

Sometimes it feels like
we talk in different languages.
Both humans, but still so different.
It feels like
I’m on the wrong planet.

Like the Enterprise,
I try to discover new cultures
but it seems
I got lost.

I’m lost on the
wrong planet
where no one
understands me.

31.01.17 © LJ Meindl

I am so tired (poetry)

I am so tired
Of fighting every day.
The pain,
The fatigue.

For what
keep I fighting?
A few minutes
Being able to write?

I am so tired
Of the daily struggle.
How can I enjoy life,
If all I know is pain?

It determines my life,
Everything I do
And want to do.
My dreams stay dreams
Because of this illness.

I am so tired.
I just want to rest.

24.11.16 © LJ Meindl All rights reserved.

Music (Poetry)

Music

Music, is what I need
to survive.

In the morning
to wake me up
and let the nightmares fade.

It brings me through the day,
is my shield against the loud world.

It soothes me,
when I’m in pain
and wait for the painkiller to help.

It’s my lullaby
for the night.

Music, is what I need
to survive.

22.09.16 © LJ Meindl All rights reserved.

Near Death Experience (Poetry)

(I wrote already about this but felt like I wanted to re-write it and put more details into it.)

Near Death Experience

When I sank into darkness
there was no fear.
The high pitched sound
of the heart monitor
hurt my ears
and, I looked up
to see what was going on.

The doctors fought for my life;
I saw my body on the operating table
but, I didn’t care.
This body wasn’t needed anymore.

A dark figure next to me
distracted me,
held out his hand for me
to come with him.

Death.

I felt no fear,
no discomfort,
no pain.
Everything felt wonderful.

A bright lovely light
appeared behind him.
It was welcoming me.
But before I could take his hand,
he stopped.

Looked at me with confusion
and back to the doctors,
who kept fighting.
The heart monitor
stopped it’s annoying sound
and beeped now in my heartbeat.

He said:
“It’s not your time yet.
You have to go back.”
But I shook my head,
stood straight in front of him.

“I don’t want to go back.
There’s so much pain.
I wanna stay here
’cause here I’m fine.”

Death sighed,
knowing that I won’t change my mind.
So he gave me a promise:
“When it’s your time,
I will be here again and take you by the hand
into the light.”

I agreed, and went back into life.

02.09.16 © LJ Meindl All rights reserved.

Nightmare (Poetry)

Nightmare

I’m scared.
Blood is everywhere.
Screams full of agony.
The world dies.

Please hold me close
and safe, big brother.
Make me wake up
from this nightmare.

People keep killing
each other until nothing’s left.
This is war,
and we’re right in it.

You can’t escape
from the fear
for your life.
We’re going to die.

Please hold me tight
and safe, big brother.
Make this nightmare fade.
This nightmare is reality.

© 22.07.16 LJ Meindl All rights reserved.