Rockstars face sexism too!

Lately I feel more and more distant from “normal fans”. Those girls and women who see “their idol” only as an sex object. Then I read comments on Facebook and Twitter like “Maybe his pants will fall down?” , like happened to Lenny Kravitz on stage once? The whole world had seen and talked about his penis. Have you ever thought about how he felt there? He might have made a cool face, but do you really know if he wasn’t embarrassed? That he worried what his family would say about this mishap?
Or comments where you tell “your idol” how you would liked to be fucked by him? (Yes, I exactly had a comment like this on my Facebook fan-page I run dedicated to a befriended musician).

It is not “funny” to ask a rockstar on twitter “do you plan to bang someone hard tonight because you send so strong sexual energies.” I called this woman out on her behaviour and asked her, what she would say if a man would come to her and told her this. She would probably accuse him for sexual harassment. This woman completely ignored my question and said that “it was just a joke and he’ll probably laugh about it.” Yeah, he did. Retweeted her with a laughing emoji. But that’s not the point. The heavy disgusting sexism is the point! The contradictory in this is, that those women might fight against sexism in media. But then they don’t see their own produced sexism towards famous men?! How can that be? Ah yes! Because “men don’t face sexism.” So they probably think it’s not sexist to publicly speculate “how big the penis” of the lead singer of their favourite band is. This is disgusting! And disrespectful! Male celebrities are not there for your sick sexual fantasies! Those people are normal human beings like everyone else! They have families, mothers, brothers, children. Think about that before you comment on a post of your idol how much you would like to fuck him. Rockstars are not sex objects!

Personal Hell (poetry)

Personal Hell

I hate the noise,
I hate the lights,
but music is
what led me here.
I’m longing for to see you
just one more time.

I go through
my personal hell
through the pain and endless darkness
for you.

I’ll go through
this personal hell
to feel the fire in my heart
for you.

I feel so restless, so fucking scared
but your music makes me
smile again,
and I’m in heaven.

And, I go through
my personal hell
– through the pain and endless darkness
for you, I’ll go through
this personal hell
to feel the fire in my heart
for you.

Dedicated to The 69 Eyes.

Music (Poetry)


Music, is what I need
to survive.

In the morning
to wake me up
and let the nightmares fade.

It brings me through the day,
is my shield against the loud world.

It soothes me,
when I’m in pain
and wait for the painkiller to help.

It’s my lullaby
for the night.

Music, is what I need
to survive.

22.09.16 © LJ Meindl All rights reserved.

Happy Birthday Jussi 69! (Poetry)

Happy Birthday Jussi!

You are a
Child of the Sun,
always smiling
and having fun.

For your birthday, my dear,
I wish you lots of beer.

And many new adventures to discover,
perhaps with a sweet love.
Your heart deserves much romance,
so better don’t miss a chance.

But mostly, I wish you health,
because that’s the biggest wealth.

May your birthday party be long,
but the hangover next morning not too strong.

Happy birthday, you crazy drummer
and have a nice summer!

11.07.16 © LJ Meindl All rights reserved.

For Luis (Poetry)

This poem I wrote two years ago for a dear friend of mine, who is also a wonderful musician and songwriter, to cheer him up. (I highly recommend to check him out on Facebook or to listen to him on YouTube.)

For Luis

You say, that you are
a nobody.
But, for me,
you are special.

A sweet guy who writes
inspiring music, that feels
like an embrace of the soul.
It calms me down

with soothing sounds
you cheer me up,
only with your guitar
and your voice.

The lyrics you write,
give me a glance into
your heart,
and I can see that

you are not
a nobody,
you are my friend.
I believe in you.

02.07.14 © LJ Meindl All rights reserved.

To Jussi 69 (poetry)

To Jussi 69

We are all excited,
waiting for the blast.
Wait. This is just the silence
before the storm.

Come on baby!
Take your drumsticks!
We want to see you play
until your hands starts to bleed!
– We know you love
this kind of pain.

Watching you on ‘Youtube’
is not enough for us.
We want to see you LIVE!
In action!

So please, please come on,
sweetheart and rock our hearts and souls.
We live only for this moment
– to go wild and keep rockin’ with

You give us all of you
– always.
We will never stop
loving you.

© 12.03.13 L.J. Meindl All rights reserved.

Why I love to go to gigs although it’s stressful

Many people told me that I should take care of me. That I should not take on too much. Yes, I know I have to be carefully how much I do the day. I know that stress is poison for my tumour disease. But you know what? If I really would listen and erase every stress factor from my life, I’d had to live in the dark with ear plugs in my ears the whole day and never talk to anyone. And that would be not living anymore. Because every little thing stresses me. My autism makes life really hard sometimes. Grocery shopping is a challenge, with all the people talking and walking, the music from the boxes, the bright light that hurts my eyes. Even more stressful it gets when the store moved their groceries so I can’t find them no more. Or when the package of a regular used grocery has changed. And most stressful is, when they don’t have my planned food. For non-autistic people this would be not a big deal, they would just take something else. I can’t do that. If they don’t have my planned food, I don’t eat. Yes, it’s not a good solution, so I try to always have a second planned food.
So, there it starts and there are even more “simple” things like this what stresses me a lot.

Not only because of my autism it is hard to live my life, but also my tumour disease, disability and chronic pain slows me down in life. There are so many beautiful places I’d like to visit, and so many people I’d like to get to meet in real life, but I can’t. I can’t because travelling is super stressful for me. Physically and mentally. I use to plan a trip months before I leave. Why? Because I need to. I need to know every little detail. About travelling time, how to get to the hotel, public transportation plans and to prepare myself to ask for help when I need it. Usually I always try to do everything on my own so I do not have to talk to people. Socializing is something I often try to avoid. So I make plans in my head, like a map, learn the bus plan from memory and everything so I do not have to ask a stranger. Unfortunately often you can not avoid to talk to people. Like at the Check-In or on the plane. After an hour’s flight to Helsinki I am so damn exhausted and stressed out that I need a complete day off to re-charge.

So why do I do this stress to me? One simple answer: Because it’s worth it. Simply travelling for relaxing doesn’t work for me. Everytime I go to Helsinki, there is an event going on. Like to see The 69 Eyes playing or when I went there to see Jussi 69 dj-ing. (Totally worth it, btw!!)
Attending to a gig is most stressful for me. Many people, who are talking loud, plus all the differents scents from parfume, shampoo, sweat. Then there is the lights what hurt my eyes. Probably I have to talk with security because of my disability and to defend myself from other fans who are jumping and pushing, and accidentally touching me. It’s the pure autism horror haha
But you know what? I endure this all, because for a short moment I can forget. I can forget about my tumour disease, about my disability, about being autistic. I don’t even notice my pain. There is just me and the band. Nothing else reach me then. I see my boys on stage, feel the music running through my veines. My heart beats loud and strong as never before. I feel alive. For one short moment I know what it feels like to be alive.
My highlight at every gig is, to see Jussi 69 on stage. If you never have seen him, I highly recommend to do so! He’s an energetic, crazy and funny drummer. It is incredible to watch him drumming. I literally forget everything then. He’s so nice to look at, like the sunrise over Helsinki. Wanna have proof? Here’s some pics of him!