I am now really comfortable with my body. It is like I always had imagined it. So I lately I was thinking about if I would reduce my T dosage or even to completely go off of it. It feels like I reached my comfort level of masculinization. So a few days ago I made an experiemnt and I only creamed 50mg of testogel. Last year I increased my dosage to 75mg because I felt stuck in transition and my testo levels were a bit low. With 75mg I have a testo level like a cis man. Pretty high. So on the weekend I went down to 50mg again. And I felt… restless. Like I was missing something. I felt weird and a little depressed. Since I wasn’t sure if it was the testo or just the usual depression kicking in, I did my 50mg the next day too. But I kept feeling incomplete. So I then went back on my usual dosage of 75mg and oho, I immediately felt balanced again. I felt at peace and back on my usual level of energy and concentration. So it seems my body likes the 75mg more. I actually didn’t plan on going further in transition, yes I still want to grow a beard and not only the goatie that I have now, but usually I’d like more to stay androgyn and not to masculinize too much. But with the short experiment I learned that my body has different plans. My body likes the testosterone in my blood. And I do too. So back on my usual dosage and stick with it until my body tells me otherwise.