New pain specialist, new luck

Dear diary,

today I finally had an appointment with a new pain specialist. I found him via google and he is specialist for nerve pain and tumour pain, so I thought he might be the right doctor for me.

When we made the appointment, we made it under the name Luka. So since I still have my old ID and insurance ID card, I had to come out as transgender again.
When we entered the doctors office I went to the receptionist and said that I have an appointment and introduced myself as “Herr M.” I then gave her my insurance ID and said “Don’t wonder. There is a different name on.” She looked up to me, checked the card and then just asked me about my name so she can put it onto my medical file. Shen then just asked “what if we have to prescribe you something?” I told her, that this can be done still under my old name until I have the new ID card.
That was coming out number first. Uncomplicated, and without using the word transgender ๐Ÿ˜€

We waited a few minutes and then I got called into the doctors office. Of course he called me “Frau M.” So when I went in there, I told him it’s about me and that I am “Herr M.” now. He also just asked about my name to note it in his files.
He asked me why I was there and I told him “for pain treatment”. Shortly explained what illnesses and disabilities I had and he looked through my papers, we took with us. He took a good while to read the letters from hospital and all, before he started to ask me in detail what pain I experience. He asked very accurately how strong the pain is, where it comes from, if I had cramps too and so on. Then he asked me where I have been before for pain treatment and what medications I had tried before. Also I mentioned that I was autistic so some pain medication works different; sometimes they work too less and sometimes too heavy. So happened with Zaldiar. I told him about the heavy horrible side effects I had with this medicament and he connected it immediately with my autism. He then thoughtย  awhile about what medication we could try out what is also compatible with my autism so I don’t get this heavy side effects again.
So he asked me if I had tried cannabis and said no, but that a friend who is a nurse told me about it and it’s benefits. There is one cannabis medication he could prescribe me but health insurances won’t cover it, and because of that I don’t have local friends I have no access to it.
So we ended up with Valoron, which is Tilidin, an opioid. Because of the heavy side effects I had with the other opioid I tried, he prescribed me liquid so I can better adjust the dosage. Pills have a fixed amount mg of the medication, and that was the problem before. My body couldn’t handle it. So I shall try the liquid now. The usual dosage is 20-40 drops, but I shall start with just 1 drop and see how I’m feeling. So we start very, very low. I think this is a good idea so I can see how my body and mind reacts without overwhelming them again. In 2 weeks I shall come back and report how it works.
My pharmarcy had to order it so I will get it tomorrow.

Summary: First sight was positive. The doctor seems to know well about nerve pain and lymphangiom and also about autism. He was very nice and friendly, asked calmly what he needed to know and used the right pronouns when talking with me. He even briefly asked me how I was dealing with being transgender and if I have supportive friends ๐Ÿ™‚ He didn’t asked me any inappropriate questions about planned surgeries, HRT and so on. I only told him that the trial is running and I am waiting for the letter from the court about my legal name change.

So far,


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