Swimming as transgender

Dear diary,
I really miss to go swimming. When I was a kid there was no problem at all. I could happily swim shirtless just like my brother did. Until I reached a certain age and my body started to change in the wrong way. Suddenly I was not allowed to go swim shirtless no more, and I didn’t understand why. My brother had a little more weight at this time, so our chests looked similiar. I was confused why we were treated differently.

So when the years went on, I avoided it to go swimming in summer. When friends had persuaded me to come swimming with them, and I had to wear swimming clothes, it has bothered me a lot. Not only that I highly dislike the feeling of this fabric what swimming clothes are made of, I always lost the top in the water. My chest was just too small. So I went swimming again shirtless. I didn’t bother when I was with friends. The last time I did this was 10 years ago. Didn’t went swimming since then. Because of society. I hate it when I just wanted to go swimming with my friend and everyone, especially male person, kept staring on my chest. Since I have such a small chest, I have never considered it as female breasts. But from their looks I could tell, they did. I felt disgusted. So I avoided it to go swimming. I miss it.

Now I know that there are special swimshirts for trans men. But why should I wear them when cis-gender men are allowed to swim shirtless? Even if I would be comfortable to wear such a shirt, I had the same problem again: I will get stared at. “Why does the guy wears a shirt?” It’s not socially acceptable for a man to go swim with a shirt on. I have never seen men wearing shirts for swimming. Only if they were professional swimmers.

So I think I have to hide my body until it is “acceptable for society”. It’s not fair.




3 thoughts on “Swimming as transgender

  1. I have also struggled with this and now swim in boardshorts and a rash guard (upf 50). In the US rash guards are associated with surfing and are common at the beach (not at pools so I don’t swim in pools).
    Lots of parents now also put their kids in rash guards since they are considered sun protection. There are very cool and masculine looking rash guards – both loose fit and tight fit. Good luck and hope you figure it out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What figure out? I don’t like the fabric of swimshirts on my skin, it feels very uncomfortable for me. I also was talking about swimming in lakes, not pools. There we would have the problem with the showers and changing rooms… So I won’t go swimming until my body is right.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s