I really miss to go swimming. When I was a kid there was no problem at all. I could happily swim shirtless just like my brother did. Until I reached a certain age and my body started to change in the wrong way. Suddenly I was not allowed to go swim shirtless no more, and I didn’t understand why. My brother had a little more weight at this time, so our chests looked similiar. I was confused why we were treated differently.
So when the years went on, I avoided it to go swimming in summer. When friends had persuaded me to come swimming with them, and I had to wear swimming clothes, it has bothered me a lot. Not only that I highly dislike the feeling of this fabric what swimming clothes are made of, I always lost the top in the water. My chest was just too small. So I went swimming again shirtless. I didn’t bother when I was with friends. The last time I did this was 10 years ago. Didn’t went swimming since then. Because of society. I hate it when I just wanted to go swimming with my friend and everyone, especially male person, kept staring on my chest. Since I have such a small chest, I have never considered it as female breasts. But from their looks I could tell, they did. I felt disgusted. So I avoided it to go swimming. I miss it.
Now I know that there are special swimshirts for trans men. But why should I wear them when cis-gender men are allowed to swim shirtless? Even if I would be comfortable to wear such a shirt, I had the same problem again: I will get stared at. “Why does the guy wears a shirt?” It’s not socially acceptable for a man to go swim with a shirt on. I have never seen men wearing shirts for swimming. Only if they were professional swimmers.
So I think I have to hide my body until it is “acceptable for society”. It’s not fair.