Huh huh, that was a weekend! Travelled over to Helsinki to see The Local Band (The-Local-Band on Facebook) playing.
It was an very interesting trip. At the security check in Berlin-Tegel Airport I was first sent to the female worker but she was looking surprised at me and asked her mal co-worker “To me?” where he responded “Well, I can’t tell.” He looked at me and asked “Boy or girl?” So I said, “Actually male.” where he then said “Well, then, come on.” I take this as kinda passing 😀
During the day I had a few situations where people were confused about my gender. I find it funny. So at the The Riff bar in Helsinki, Jussi 69’s own bar, where the afterparty was held. There were two guys who kept looking at me, pointing on me, and talked obviuosly. I was like “Ok, is this we guess a strangers gender, now?”
Or when I needed to use the bathroom. The bar was super crowdy and it was almost impossible for me to walk, with my paralysed leg and the cane. Luckily I met a friend at the gig I knew from Twitter. She kept me by her side and we made it to the womens bathroom. The men’s bathroom was around the corner, but I doubted that I would make it to there through the drunken people. My friend then told me “So, now you have to decide.” I used the girl’s bathroom with her. When I left and waited for my friend, there came a guy inside, looked at me, looked at another girl inside, went back, looked at the sign, looked back confused at me while a woman got behind him and told him, this is the girl’s bathroom. They both were looking again to me and started to discuss about something. Couldn’t hear what it exactly was about. I’m quite sure I confused many people this day 😀
Travelling is always very difficult and strenuous for me. Not only because of my physically disability but also because of my autism. It is so difficult for me to talk with people from eye to eye or to ask for help, and this all in a foreign language (english is not my native language 😉 ). Due to I had my breakfast at 5am, I was starving when I arrived at the hotel at 1:30pm. So I had to think about where I wanted to get to eat something. I decided for the Hotel restaurant. I haven’t been or ordered on my own in a restaurant for kinda 15!! years. Why not? Because I made bad experiences when I was a child. I couldn’t eat and drink properly, always made some mess and dirt, and I got badly scold from my father. When I was older and tried to order things, I often had the problem that no one understood me. When I’m under stress and nervous I tend to speak to quiet, fast or unclear. If I have to repeat my order, it sets me even more under stress until I get a real blackout and can’t say any word no more. Anxiety in combination with autism can be such a struggle. So yes, I was fucking scared to go down and order food for me. But I made it. Without any complications. Even in english. I am so damn proud of me!
When I then left the hotel to go to the venue, I first got lost. Although I printed the walk to the venue. So I had to ask strangers again. Another thing that gives me huge anxiety. But this I also managed and got to the venue just in time. I walked in, bought me a T-shirt and took a seat. Unfortunately the seat was surrounded by two potted palm trees. During the half of the gig I was fighting with the plant. Often I had their spiky leaves in my view and hair. I’m very sensitive on my head so this was stressful. A woman in front of me with long curly hair got caught by this tree and almost tore down the palm tree with pot! A guy then caught the plant and moved it so we both were safe. I don’t get why this stupid plants had be there anyway when the hall manager knew it would get very crowdy for the show.
The show itself was incredible. The boys were joking on stage, chatting with the crowd and we all just had a great time. All the difficulties I had to go through, and the intense pain I was in the whole night, were totally worth this gig! I sang along with “Wanted Dead or Alive” and got goosebumps at “Livin’ on a Prayer”. I’m glad I made it there.
After the gig I went to the afterparty at The Riff bar with my friend and her husband. Waited for the boys but they unfortunately arrived feels like 5min before closing. Hugged Jussi and had to remind me who I was. Has my face changed that much in 45 days on T? Or was it because we haven’t seen us for half a year and last time I was with glasses while on Friday I had my contact lenses? When he knew me again, he asked me how long I stay in Helsinki ’cause we had no time to talk. Told him that I have to leave on Saturday. he looked a bit sad, but then we both said same time “We talk next time!” If we ever will make it to have a whole conversation? I think next time will be in another 6 months or longer. Then I definitely have to remind him who I am! It can happen much in 6 months when you are on T 😀
I was back at my hotel at 3:30am the night. That means I was awake from 4am to 4am and had only 2h of sleep before getting up again for breakfast and travel to the airport. Then my flight was 1h late so I was home at 4pm. Got myself a bath, food and then I fell into my bed. Slept till 6:30am and still feel like dead. I can not do that travelling too often. But like I said before, it was worth it. I’m satisfied with gigs and going out for the rest of the year.
That was hardcore!
A super happy but dead Luka