It gets better

Dear Diary,

I haven’t been here for a while. The last months were damn hard for me. I was scared as fuck about to realize that I am a guy, and I’m still anxious about the future. But, since I’ve started with my full-time real-life experience I slowly start to feel more comfortable with myself. Two months ago I was close to give up and thinking about to kill myself. But now, with the huge acceptance and support I get from my mum, friends and fans I’m doing better now.

I never liked it to look into the mirror, it hasn’t looked like me. When I look into it now, I can already see the man that I always should have been. I look very much like a younger version of my brother, and although I’m not in touch with him anymore, I like what I see, because I finally look like the little brother of him and that gives me a happy feeling.

Though I’m still in the very beginning of everything and have to learn how to fully accept myself, I already feel a little more self-confident.

I can’t describe how damn grateful I am for all the support I get!!! It’s incredible! From many sides I hear, that people don’t care about my gender and just love me for the person I am. And they love my name!!! I love it so much too! I love, love, love my name! Now I wonder why I haven’t found it earlier haha It really suits me and represents me.

I have the feeling I’m on the right way now. It’s gonna be a long, hard way but I think I can see the light at the end of the dark tunnel.

The journey seems endless but i’ll carry on
The shadows will rise and they will fall
Quote: HIM – The Path

May 2015 be a good year for me!



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