I had a very busy week but still want to make a post about asexuality since it’s asexual awareness week.
Yes, I am asexual. Many people don’t know about this orientation but it’s a valid sexual orientation like heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual and so on.
People who are asexual don’t experience sexual attraction. That’s the official definition. In my words: I don’t find anyone sexy, hot and get no desire to do sexual things with somebody. I still can find people pretty, cute, beautiful – that’s called aesthetic attraction. Sometimes I really do like to look at people. I admire their dressing style, shape, aura, haircut or whatelse. But I never get the feeling of “being hot for someone”.
But being asexual doesn’t mean that you don’t want to have sex. Some asexuals have sex, some don’t. There are many reasons to have sex despite sexual attraction. Sensual attraction for example – the desire to touch someone in a non-sexual way like hugging, cuddling or just simply touching someones shoulder etc.
Some asexuals have sex to please their partner, or because it can feel good. The difference to allosexuals (non-asexual people) is that asexuals don’t have the urge to do sexual things. We don’t start.
Some asexuals are also aromantic which means that they don’t experience romantic attraction. In my words: I don’t fall in love and I’m not seeking for a romantic relationship.
Yes, I had some relationships in my past. They were all coming from the guys first and I just had let me fall in. From everywhere I was told that “it’s normal to want a romantic partner”. This is what you have to do. So I did. But I never was really in love. I can’t distinguish between romantic and platonic love, so I first thought that I’m in love but after a while I realized that I just like this guy very much. (This romantic orientation is called quoiromantic or wtfromantic) So I had to break his heart. It was a horrible experience that I never wanna make anymore, so I gave up on romantic relationship. Since I actually was never interested in this, it was an easy step to do.
All I crave for are close platonic friendships. For me is the love in a family and between friends so much more worth than romantically.
Unfortunately I am a sweet loving person who loves to cuddle. In my past my behaviour was often misinterpreted and guys thought I have romantically feelings for them. *sigh* I hate it to break hearts, but do I really need to have a Coming Out to every possible future friend I meet?
I am not interested in any kind of romantic nor sexually relationship. I just wanna have friends 🙂